My one success today was that Will's spitting up was so much better today. Don't get me wrong, he still spit up, but it wasn't gallons as usual. Yay for Will! This sweet boy needs a break!
Stress 1. Giving up dairy has been really hard for me. I love milk, cheese, etc. You don't know until you can't have dairy that everything has dairy in it somewhere in the form of "whey powder". I went to Central Market yesterday to buy some non-dairy items I need at home to help me be able to cook and eat- Rice Dream (rice milk ice cream), rice milk, Earth Balance non dairy shortening to use as butter, and some organic whole wheat flour so I can bake some homemade bread. Of course what in the world am I going to eat on that bread?! Last night Steven and I ordered pizza. Papa Johns and Little Caesars both have dairy free crust and sauce. It was nice to have pizza, but still depressing that my half had no cheese. I'll take what I can get.
Stress 2. My son will not nap. Or I cannot get him to nap. I honestly don't know what to do. If he were sleeping through the night I wouldn't be so worried, but he isn't. (and that may be stress #2 point A.: not sleeping through the night. It seems like everyone's babies' were by this age and everyone always acts shocked when I say he's not, which makes me feel so inadequate as a mom.) I need some baby napping help. He isn't upset about it, actually is very happy all day. I just know how important sleep is and it upsets me that he isn't getting it.
Stress 3. I'm worried about my milk supply. I think it's "drying up". I've had an awesome supply until now. I don't know if it's a nutrition problem, stress, no sleep, etc. Will is still having diapers and seems happy after eating, but I haven't been able to pump any bottles and usually I can. It's been two days since I have been trying. I needed some bottles for this weekend b/c I'm in a wedding and Will was going to stay with my parents Friday night. Now if I can't send milk I'll have to keep him with me. I'm worried he won't get enough to eat and I'll have to switch to formula. I never thought I'd be sad about not being able to breastfeed anymore, but I guess I'm more attached to it than I thought.
Needless to say, I know all this stressing about these things just makes each of these things worse. If you are a mom and have advice, tidbits, or can share experiences- please do. I'm at a loss for most of this and feel like I'm falling short as a mom.
That's it for my pity party. Hopefully tonight I'll get a couple hours sleep and can start fresh tomorrow. Thank you Lord for new mornings!
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.