Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Bananas


Bananas.. bonkers... crazy... whatever you call it, that's what my kids are today. I've taken away recess, sent notes home, and given them boring worksheets... they still won't shut up! To begin with, I don't feel well today and it hurts my throat everytime I have to yell to be heard. Maybe I'll cut out early today... or take a long lunch... better yet, I'll just work from home today. Would be nice!! It's 12:26- 3 hours and 4minutes before I have some relief. This picture is obviously not me, but close enough.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Brave Heart

I know it looks like a typo... should be Braveheart, the Mel Gibson movie. No, this one is different. It is my new prayer. I'm reading this book by Sharon A. Hersh, Brave Hearts: Unlocking the Courage to Love with Abandon.

This book is a must read for all women who crave meaningful, lasting relationships. It is encouraging me and kicking my butt at the same time. I just finished reading about holy jealousy, comparison, and envy. Yes- "holy jealousy", two words I'd never put together.

Hersh writes: "Jealousy grows out of a longing to be considered, remembered, included. Jealousy is cultivated by a desire for permanence, security, and abiding relationships. Jealousy is vulnerable to loss, winces at betrayal, and hates unfaithfulness. The roots of jealousy reveal the holy longing for relationships that God has written in our hearts." She does go on to say that these longings, if gone unidentified and expressed, can quickly turn to suspicion, anger, and withdrawal from relationships. As a young girl and woman, I have endlessly dealt with the feelings of jealousy. When one of my good friends begins a new friendship with someone else, or even when my husband joins another basketball team (ridiculous!)- I feel that little jealous twinge in my heart, resulting in guilt and a feeling that I'm too sensative, too vulnerable, too needy. Looking back, I realize those feelings mirror God's jealousy over his people. He says his name is Jealous. God also so longs for relationships that he consistently expresses his desire for endless relationships and his disdain for unfaithfulness. I'm so thankful for this book and how it's opening my heart for relationships and people in a new way.

God promised Ezekiel: "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

Thank you Lord for renewing my heart. Teach me how to love with abandon, with courage, and with faithfulness. Show me how to love like you have loved me. Give me a Brave Heart.