Gratitude

Lately I'm realizing how gratefulness is something I struggle with. It's a hard thing to admit. I thank God daily for my home, my husband, my health, the life He's given me- that I do not deserve. I thought I was a very grateful person. I am being shown otherwise. For me, my ungratefulness isn't an outright "I want more" or "God, this isn't good enough". I doubt it is for anyone. Mine shows up in comparison. Like other sins, you don't notice it right away. It doesn't seem "that bad". I don't take it seriously enough. I definitely wasn't calling it what it was- coveting. (not my neighbor's wife obviously...) I then realized how it threatens God's number one commandment to us- Love. Comparison threatens my ability to love others. I compare my life to theirs- telling God what I have isn't enough and producing a spiteful, bitter heart toward others. I recently read that comparison makes "it easier to admire a stranger than our best friend". Ouch. My prayer now is that I would be truly thankful for everything in all situations. Whether I have a big house or a small house that keeps me safe, no college debt or student loans- that let me go to school!, a brand new SUV or a dependable vehicle that's almost paid off- I will be grateful. My worth is not determined by those things, but by Christ's sacrifice for me.

Nichole Nordeman has a song that echoes this feeling of wanting a grateful heart in any and all circumstances. Whether God answers a prayer or doesn't- I will be thankful for however he provides.

"Gratitude"
Send some rain, would You send some rain?'
Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view
If no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessd beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace ...
But, Jesus, would You please ...